We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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