I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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