I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
