i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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