But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
