Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
this hospital has no fireball
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
