I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
