Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
