I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
