no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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