Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
