belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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