"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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