it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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