I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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