he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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