it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He kissed a someone with a penis
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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