I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
