Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
