oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
