I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
as a side note pls kill me
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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