I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
