Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
we're making bets on your personal life
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
