the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
