You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
