And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
