how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
