You smell like a Billy Joel song
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
