your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
