I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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