So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
only you would photoshop your dick
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
