I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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