so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
