The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
