He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
