so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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