What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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