Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
