the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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