dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
