My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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