And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
