i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
