Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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