She's JV to your varsity
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
