Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
