There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize