Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
