Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
