I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
