how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
