Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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