She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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