We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
