I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
