Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
