i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Found the puke drawer
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
