My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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