well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
