Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
