I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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