READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
